The Swine Flu Diaries: Prologue

I have spent the last six days completely knocked out by influenza. Based on my symptoms and the infection patterns locally, I was told that I most likely had H1N1. But given that the treatment is the same, no one was going to bother to test me. As the fog slowly dissipates from my brain, I thought I would try to piece together the events of the past week. Hopefully, it will be entertaining and can shed some light on the virus that has recently captivated the public with its with dire pandemic predictions. So fry up some bacon, sit back, relax, and enjoy my swine flu tales of woe.

At the Cafeteria

It was going to be a late night for me, so I decided to head down to the cafeteria to spend some of my food allowance at the salad bar. I got my salad and a drink and headed for the registers. Being almost 8 pm there was only one register open and a long line. I got in line behind a very tall guy who was wearing special monogrammed scrubs that only certain people in the OR wear.

On a side note, there are so many different colors of scrubs in the hospital, that I cannot keep them all straight. Most residents tend to wear the standard issue scrubs from the scrub machines.

Anyway, I was standing there, sort of spacing out and watching a mom with some cute kids by the napkin dispensers. All of a sudden I hear "whoa, you snuck up on me!" It took me a minute it realize it was the tall guy in front of me, sort of peering down with this strange look on his face. I guess I was short enough that he did not notice me get in line behind him? He eyed my scrubs and my badge and said, "ah, you're sneaky, you must be an anesthesiologist!"

Puzzled, I responded, "uhh... no, I'm not an anesthesiologist." He looked surprised. "You aren't," he asked. "Uhhh... no, I'm a pathologist," I said.

His eyes lit up and he broke into a big grin. "Ahh, pathology, that explains it," he said. "Then you're sneaky and creepy!"

Must-Read Article

Strained by Katrina, a Hospital Faced Deadly Choices

The New York Times Magazine has a riveting account of what happened inside New Orleans' Memorial Medical Center during Hurricane Katrina. It raises a ton of ethical questions that I hope to never have to think about on the spot. But the reality is we all may have to someday. This is definitely one of the more thought-provoking medical articles I have read in awhile.

Formalin

In anatomy lab in medical school I remember being told that breathing in the vapors for hours while dissecting our cadavers could make one feel hungry. It did seem to work for awhile. Not anymore. There is quite a lot of unused money on my food card these days. Now I spend so much time around formalin that I can smell it long after I leave the gross room behind for the day. I'll be at home and get a quick whiff, even after showering. It is very bizarre, and probably not a good thing.

States Update

I was just trying to tally up all of my travels around the U.S. and found a new map for tracking. 40 down, 10 to go. I have vacation in a few weeks, but I am going to re-visit some of my favorite destinations in the Southwest, so I doubt I will knock anymore off. Louisiana would be a long drive away.


visited 40 states (80%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or vertaling nederlands duits?

Musings...

On Residency
I have been working a lot these days. If anyone reading this is wondering whether pathology residency has great hours, the answer is sometimes. But at most programs a lot of time will be spent on rotations with much longer hours, like surgicals, hemepath, and even autopsy and blood bank at some programs. It is very hard to work a 14-hour day and come home and crack open the books you need to read to really get a handle on the material. Pathology is a much more reading-intense field than many others.

On Blogging
I wish I had time to write more. It is such nice stress relief. But it has been good to see that some of the bloggers whose stuff I enjoyed, ie Panda Bear, The Fake Doctor, are back in action. Bostonian has a nice post detailing some good reading if you want to catch up.

Pathology Humor

:::A piece of tumor falls off the grossing table and onto the floor:::

Resident 1: Dude, you dropped your tumor.
Resident 2: Oh, crap, I did.

:::leaning over:::

PA: Quick, 5 second rule!
Resident 2: It's not too late.

:::grabs tumor with forceps:::

PA: Anyone have a Triscuit?
Resident 1: Soft tissue appetizer, anyone?
PA: Yippee, mystery meat!

:::laughter:::

Yeah, we're a bunch of sick f-cks. But it does make the time go by quicker.